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Have you ever noticed that attraction is a weird thing? Sometimes a person can check all the boxes, but we don’t feel any attraction. There’s no chemistry. Or maybe you know someone who attracts almost everyone and you think: why? What’s their secret? One thing is certain, there’s MUCH more going on than looks and beauty when it comes to attraction, and in this video I will show you 3 tiny habits, 3 little behaviors that when a woman has these, men always notice it and find it very attractive, they pursue women who do these things. These habits, traits, behaviors make you magnetic.

If you do these things, he will not be able to stop thinking about you. Now enough about him and the fact that he will be obsessing about you. What these habits will most importantly do is they will help YOU FEEL confident and attractive. Your radiance and your energy will change. So let’s talk about it.

My name is Geert, I’m an author and I also use the pen name Brian Nox, I write about relationships and other topics and let’s start with tiny micro habit number one: you take time and make time for things that are important to you and these things are more important than seeing him all the time. Always remember: he is never your only priority. Even when he’s a great guy. Women that are obsessed with a guy, always push him away. Women that are “obsessed” with themselves and their own well-being in a healthy way, have an abundance of men to pick from.

Now there are plenty of ways to show this to him. A good example of this is saying no to last minute dates. Or saying who are you to a man that previously ghosted you but now texts “hey what’s up, how have you been”, as if nothing happened. Don’t you think that’s funny how people that ghost us then after days or weeks suddenly text something like: “hey how have you been? Want to meet up”. Do they think we do not have a notion of time and how much of it has passed since they started ignoring us?

Now when a man asks for a last-minute date it doesn’t always mean he has bad intentions, but the correct answer to the question is usually: “no thank you, I already have plans, how about tomorrow?”, even if your plans were to clean your oven. Positive effect number one of saying no to last-minute dates: you show to him and to yourself that you are valuable and that you have a lot of self-love. You are a priority, not an option.

Positive effect number two: you weed the bad from the good men. Because a good guy will say: “tomorrow is great!” or “Oh I’m busy tomorrow, but what about Thursday?” he will give other options, and a bad guy will say: “Sorry I’m only available now, too bad” and 5 minutes later someone else’s phone will get a text from him: “hey what’s up? How have you been? Want to meet up?”

Habit number two: you often allow him to be in his masculine energy mode and you often remain in your feminine energy mode. Unless when you love to be in your masculine energy mode of course, but a lot of women don’t like that in their relationship. They want their guy to step up and take charge and show that he’s interested in them, that he wants to be with them, they want him to be clear, decisive and active, not waiting for his girlfriend to make all the moves and decisions. He should put in some efforts. Yet, some women forget to allow him to be in his masculine energy mode where he will be like that. The mode where he for example also wants to provide and protect. Some women do not allow that.

“Why are you opening doors for me, I can do that on my own thank you very much. These are not the 50ies. It’s not because you’re a man that you have to open the door! You know how much time I spend in the gym, trust me I can open a door. WHAT? You want to pay for this date? How dare you. I make my own money you know. How disrespectful. You think you can buy my love? I have enough money to buy this restaurant and all the cars on the parking lot. Including that rusty piece of metal you drive! You call that a car! If you had picked me up with a camel the ride would have been more comfortable!”

And I’m exaggerating a tiny little bit here but (pauze) I often see in relationships that have issues that the woman is not allowing the man to step up. Because she continuously blocks his masculine energy OR, even when she’s not blocking it, the guy just doesn’t step up and he’s in his feminine energy mode. The woman says: “what are we going to eat tonight? What would you like to eat?” The guy: “I don’t know, you can decide, just tell me and I’ll make anything you want”. Instead of: “Ah what about a good home made pizza, I’ll make one. Sounds good?” He’s taking action here, he’s decisive.

The micro habits you can use here are meant to invite him into that energy. Here’s how: make him feel needed. Like he’s valuable in your life. And not by doing things for him, but by allowing him to do things for you. If you want him to feel attracted and to step up, try to let go of control every now and then, that’s an example of a habit here. If he asks: what restaurant do you want to go to tonight?” Don’t always make the choice for him, let him work for it and say: “I don’t know, surprise me”. And then make sure to also act surprised, even if he takes you to the same restaurant you both ALWAYS eat at.

Men love it when they can use their masculine energy around a woman. And a lot of the women that give me feedback about my books and some of my courses on the website tell me that, when they let go of control every now and then, not only does their love life get better because the man starts to step up, most importantly they feel much better and relaxed and safe in their relationship and life as a whole. It’s pretty stressful to try to have everything under control.

Habit number 3: being lighthearted. This is a very attractive habit with a big impact on how you feel about yourself. As always this is for many reasons. For example: it’s a stress reliever, not just for yourself but for everyone around you. People love being around lighthearted people because it gives them a great energy. That lightheartedness will also create a better bond between you and the guy you’re interested in. He will in turn feel more at ease around you. It will be easier for him to open up and be honest about his feelings and intentions.

Now just in case you think: well it takes an effort to be lighthearted, I don’t feel happy all the time, why would I have to put in that effort. Well, habit number one: you make time for things that are important to you, self-care IS important. When we are lighthearted we are not doing it so other people would feel happy. That’s just a side-effect. We’re doing it for ourselves first. Lightheartedness has a direct effect on how we feel about ourselves and life in general. That more playful and positive outlook is a MAJOR Stress reliever. Even the great roman emperor Marcus aurelius wrote about this in his journal about 1500 years ago. And yes, for some reason a lot of men think about the roman empire every single day.

Now this lightheartedness changes many things about us. When we are in that mode, and we don’t have to be in there all the time, but when we are, people can see that energy in our eyes, it’s a sparkle, they can see it in the way we walk and talk and move. If there’s only one thing you remember from this video, I hope this one will be it because I know it can have a profound impact on your life if you’re not already doing it. Every now and then just take a micro moment and ask yourself: what’s my attitude now? Positive, negative? And then change course when needed.

Habit number 4: make the other person feel seen and make them feel important. This one is becoming more crucial than ever before. If you’re out on a date with someone, or even just with friends, how many times are you checking your phone? Which is totally fine if it’s a bad date. If it’s a bad date, feel free to play a game of tetris while the man you are on a date with drinks his seventh whiskey, continues to explain how important he is and cannot stop talking about his exes.

But if you would like to see a person again to develop a good friendship or who knows, the relationship of a lifetime. It’s of course best to give them your undivided attention. Everytime we look at our phone we signal: you are not important or at the very least I don’t care about what you’re talking about and I want to see if there’s something better to do on my phone. And if we’re honest, we all do this at times. But when you start paying attention to it you can build a new habit.

And these are tiny micro habits. We don’t look at our phone during a conversation, we use and maintain eye-contact, we let them finish their sentences for example. Another great habit in this category is remembering details. If during a conversation you still remember a detail that was said a month ago, you show that you care. And we of course should never fake this. It’s great to have a genuine interest in other people. Make other people feel seen and important. It’s a very charismatic thing to do.

And then finally, the fifth habit that in this case will help you to have a wider range of men to pick from, but that can also help you to have more friends because this works on people in general. When you like a man, show it openly. Without going overboard. So when you had a great first conversation, you can say: “I like you”, and not: “wauw, I never thought I would meet a guy like you. I’ve been on SO many dates and finally, there you are. So here are my plans for our future.” Not that. Now why is this an important habit?

Well, showing a man that you LIKE him, and again, liking someone is a pretty basic level, it’s not adoring him, but showing that you like him opens the door for him to pursue you. Aside from the players and the men that date 10 women a week, most men need a sign, a green light, they need to know you like them. It energizes them. It energizes the men that are NOT right for you to make that clear and walk away. And the right men will feel called to pursue you and to step up.

Seriously. The amount of couples that are never formed, that never date or get in a relationship because the man didn’t know the woman liked him. A huge amount. And if you are already in a relationship, he still needs to know that whatever he is doing, is making you happy. And this sounds very basic doesn’t it? But I’ve seen many couples where both people talk about neutral things, and the bad things. The behaviors they do not like. But they forget to mention everything they like and love about their partner. Positive reinforcement is important.

I hope you appreciated this video.

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