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The first 21 days of a romantic relationship are crucial and they often define how well the rest of the relationship will go.
Everyone always says that the first impression is everything, especially when it comes to love and dating, but most people fail to mention that there are different levels and types of first impressions. So during the first couple of weeks of your romantic relationship you’ll be making different kinds of first impressions. There’s more than one.
My pen name is Brian Nox, my real and hard to pronounce name is Geert and I’m an author of a couple of best-selling books about dating and relationships for women like these here and books on other topics and in this video I’ll give you 4 things you can do to hook a man in the first 21 days or less.
Number One: Always show your standards, emphasis on ALWAYS. Every woman has standards, but some women forget all about them when they fall head over heels for a guy.
Quick example: if a guy you adore asks if he can come in after a date or if you can come over at night during the first couple of days after you started dating him, then you have an important first impression to make. You can say: “Sure but let me put on something sexy first. And are you hungry? You want me to make you a cheeseburger served with an ice-cold beer or anything else while I’m at it? Anything you want…”
I exaggerate slightly, but If you do that, at first he will clap like the most excited seal at the zoo… but you will not have hooked him. Quite the contrary.
Or you can say: “Glad to see you clearly like me, but I would like to get to know you better first”. There won’t be any clapping then, he may even seem disappointed, but he will be hooked. I don’t have time to get into the details in this video, but declining such an invitation drastically changes the impression you make and how valuable you will become to him. Again, in this example you’ve only known him for a couple of days. It’s too soon for the cheeseburgers.
Number two: Speed is your enemy. I know the saying goes: “you have to strike the iron while it’s hot”, but the hotter HE is, the slower you should go.
Some women feel this sense of urgency when they date a man. Guys feel this too by the way. But that urgency says: “I have to seal the deal here, quickly, before another person walks away with the object of my affection or before the flame dies out. God no, please don’t let that happen, that would ruin my love life. I will never find anyone like THIS person again.”
Right. Remember: no matter how great he seems to be, he’s never some kind of limited edition that cannot be replaced. Especially when you’ve just met him.
Number three: Make him impress YOU. This one is easy, but some women tend to overlook it because they are too busy impressing HIM. You can make him impress you by flirting with him. That playfulness that comes with flirting shows that you’re confident, that you’re not seeking his approval and that it’s up to him to impress you.
For example: If he says something foolish, say: “aah, you were gaining points earlier, but this here….” (GEERT – USE FINGER) and you say this with a smile of course, it has to be playful. Playfulness and power are the most important ingredients here. They are both necessary.
For instance, a great sentence that you can use in a variety of circumstances is: “I knew you were trouble?” Again, said in a playful and teasing way. That activates his “I need to impress her” instinct.
You also do this by laying down your rules.
If he asks you out on a date and he uses anything else but a real phone call or an in-person conversation, say: “I would love to go out with you, but a text message is not the right way to ask a girl like ME out. I need to hear you say it. I’m old fashioned ;-)” These are little moments early on where you are showing your power. You’re laying down some rules. And you should. If you ever get a dog the general rule is that the best day to start training him is day number one. Why would it be any different with a man you start dating?
Number Four: activate his serve and protect instincts. When a man loves a woman, he wants to serve her, he wants to protect her and he wants to make her life easier.
If a man truly cares about a woman, it doesn’t matter how badass he usually is. He will soften up and will want to protect and provide. It’s an instinct.
You can activate this instinct with very small actions like “can you hold my phone for a second” when you’ve just met him (that’s a great ice-breaker by the way if you want to go talk to a guy. Just ask him to do something small for you right out of the gate) or you can activate the instinct by making a statement like: “I find it irresistible when a guy…” and then fill in the blanks. “I find it irresistible when a guy cleans out my closet marie kondo style and then does my laundry”, “when he takes me to Paris for a third date in a private jet JUST to eat warm French croissants for breakfast”
Anything you want, but the best way to use it realistically is: “I find it irresistible when a guy makes me feel safe. When a guy shows me his cooking skills. When a guy gives me a call instead of texting me all the time”… whatever is important to you.
These are by the way also a great way to separate the great guys from the disinterested men. You can see how much a man loves and likes you by looking at his efforts and actions.
If you use these four, combined, you’ll be giving him a chance to see how special you are. So many women put these 4 aside when they fall head over heels for a guy.