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In this video I want to give you almost instant emotional turn-ons, for men, because if I would give them for elephants you wouldn’t know what to do with them right? But men, a lot of people think, if you want to turn one of them on, you’ll have to be sexual in some way. Physically or by using your words. And that obviously works on almost all men. But it doesn’t create the deep emotional bond that is needed to form a true connection or to make him see you as a person of value, someone he respects, someone he wants to keep seeing, someone whose name he hasn’t forgotten the next morning, someone he would even ditch his friends and hobbies for.

And he shouldn’t actually ditch his hobbies of course, but a deep emotional bond is that powerful. It’s like a spell. We all know that a physical connection fades VERY quickly if it is not backed up and supported by a strong emotional connection. Now an emotional connection is formed when you have long talks that can last all night and stuff, but that connection won’t turn him on, it won’t raise his attraction, these long talks won’t make him unable to stop thinking about you and so on. So if that’s what you’re looking for, that he’s really turned on by you and not just for 5 minutes, we need something else and that’s what this video is about.

My name is Geert, I’m an author, I also use the pen name Brian Nox for my books about dating and relationships and as you will notice, to create emotional attraction, it’s more about what not to do, than what to do. Emotional attraction is easily destroyed, it’s fragile. With that said, the first thing I want to discuss, the first thing that will turn men on on an emotional level, is when you put him in his place, but in a special way.

See, there are many ways to put a man in his place. There is the loud “I have high standards” way. The voice is raised, sentences are almost yelled like: “if you want to be with me, this is what I expect from you and if you cannot give that to me I’m gone! I want to be treated with respect, I’m high value you know, I will replace you quicker than a worn-out toothbrush.” Not an emotional turn on. Most men prefer to shave themselves with a chainsaw than to be with a woman who talks like this.

Also, we of course know that when people start yelling or get really upset, they feel insecure, it’s not so-called high-value behavior. And they usually don’t mean what they are saying. These are often empty threats. But then, there’s the other way. The voice is not raised. It’s : “I like you, and I still think we have potential, but now that you did this, that’s stuff for me to think about. But feel free to be who you want to be, I want you to be yourself.” The end, no threats, nothing. But trust me, if he likes you, he will get the message.

Moments like these often make someone, someone who did something wrong, realize how important their partner is, and if they feel that, they will show a better version of themselves. No yelling or ultimatums required. This creates emotional attraction for many reasons at the same time. It’s cool calm and collected and that requires strength. Getting upset and yelling is easy. This here is not. This type of strength is attractive. Then there’s of course also the element of challenge.

“oh what was that? I better be my best self or otherwise I’m going to lose her. She has stuff to think about? She said it with such a calm voice she MUST be serious. It’s as if she doesn’t like me anymore. What? How do I prove her she can trust me and should stay with me?…” This guy may even delete social media or at least unfollow all the other women he follows to focus all of his attention on you! I know, THAT will probably never happen but can you feel the power here?

Some women look at their guy and they have a list of demands. “I need him to be this and that and he needs to treat me like this and that” and if that doesn’t happen, they feel unhappy, they start to complain. Who has the power then? He does. The opposite is: I don’t NEED anything from you. I like you, but my life is great without you as well. You don’t need to be or do anything. You be you and I’ll see if that makes me happy or not. If it does great if not: bebye. When a man feels that, you get his best behavior. Men are attracted to this. And I’m generalizing, you should of course communicate what you expect from a relationship and so on, just not with yelling or threatening to leave.

A second way to turn him on on an emotional level: DO NOT PUT HIM ON A PEDESTAL and don’t prove yourself to him, don’t try to change what he thinks about you or even to influence it. Here are some examples of what I mean: It’s the second date and you chose to wear a black dress because during the first date he told you he likes the color black. Bad idea. What would make this even worse is, when he sees you and says: “wow you look gorgeous” and you would say: well I’m wearing this for you, I wore black because you told me you love that color.” Neuw!

See this is great when you’ve been in a relationship with him for a year or more. When he has earned this pedestal treatment because he’s giving YOU the princess treatment. But not so soon. These things scream: “please like me” and they make the emotional attraction melt faster than a banana split in the hot desert sun. Another example, you drive a car that looks like it came out of a hurricane because of the scratches and dents it has and suddenly you wonder: maybe he’s into cars or he’s going to think I… and then something bad. And you tell him. Yeah see I drive an old car with some scratches because…

You don’t have any explaining to do. Especially when he’s not even asking for an explanation. These are examples where he can clearly feel that you are trying to “sell” yourself to him and this, on a subconscious level, communicates that you think he has a higher value than you. That you believe you don’t deserve him. I probably don’t need to explain that this won’t generate any attraction and can of course destroy the emotional attraction that was present. Not when this happens once, but when you do this often. Don’t prove yourself to him.

So instead, start saying bad things about HIS car. Just kidding, please never do that. Some men have a strange relationship with their car. If I would own a hanger, I would still have every car I ever owned and I would store them in the hanger. Forever. Even the ones that looked like they came out of a hurricane. So don’t sell yourself to him, don’t put him on a pedestal. Attraction is often linked to value. We are attracted to people and things we find valuable. Do not destroy your own value.

The third way to create instant emotional attraction is to be as authentic as you can. To be your true self. See. Personally I think that in life we should NOT always be ourselves. If my girlfriend and I arrive at a hotel and the special room we booked turns out to not be available, then I’m not going to be myself. I’m going to be whatever version I need to be to get that room and that will depend on who I’m talking to. I might use diplomacy and persuasion tactics…and that works well in those situations, speaking from experience. But in a relationship, we have no other choice than to be authentic and thus ourselves.

If for some reason we decide: I really like that person. So I am going to behave in a way that they like me too. I might even use some persuasion tactics. Very. Bad. idea. We attract the wrong people because of this and we waste our time. If you’re a woman and you want a man that feels a deep connection and that cherishes you, your job is NEVER to persuade him or to convince him or to do things so he would like you more. Doing those things will never allow a deep emotional attraction to exist and they will even destroy the physical attraction.

Yes it’s that powerful. Men love it when they can see the real you. For some of them that will mean: oh she’s not my type. Which is good, regardless of what you feel for them, they should leave. And the right men will see something that they don’t often see. Someone without a mask on. Someone who’s not playing a role, someone who’s not trying to be liked or to hide parts of their personality.

When I wrote some of my books I interviewed a lot of men and when I asked: what made you pick one woman over another and when was it clear that you wanted her: what often came back was: the moment I could truly see her. The moment I saw her soul, who she truly was. And they used different words to explain this but that’s what it came down to.

And that brings me to the final thing: he wishes he was more… like you. So he sees things in your personality that he would love to have in his personality, he’s impressed by how you handle certain things or what you have achieved, by your self-confidence, by how passionate you are and so on. Now to get to this point he needs to see you, to experience all facets and sides of you. It’s one of the reasons why I’m such a fan of activity dates. Not just going to dinner but doing things together. Kayaking, going for an adventurous hike, building a bonfire on the beach and perhaps then going to dinner. And not as a first date, but a second or a third date. Make sure he can see and experience your full personality.

As you have seen, all of these emotional turn ons have one thing in common: you take care of yourself. And not just your appearance by taking care of your physical body, but also internally. You set boundaries, you’re never afraid of losing him especially not when you’ve only known him for a couple of days or months, you watch Brian Nox videos, really important, especially until the very end of the video, you also hit the like button when you like the video… that’s good karma and creates emotional turn ons. All kidding aside, I hope you appreciated this video.

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